GoBlog

yeah u read the title right. im not gonna be blogging here anymore. friendster sucks. you know when u go to your friend’s profile and suddenly theres a song playing and u dont even know how to shut it off. or maybe if ur listening to something and dont wanna mute your speaker or you’ll be lik - wtf? this is not how i remember this song..
whatever..
so ok, this is my new blogging site - http://harayz.wordpress.com
thanks to baby who enlightened me to this new site. hope everything is well with her wherever she is. and the fam too - hope the bro is ok. miss  his old self - tho azmir always bully me but i love him for that.
anyhoo.. i have so many things to complain about fs but fuck it. like its gonna do any difference.
im looking at nadia right now as she fast asleep and i think she looks so damn peaceful - esp after all the dramas that she went through. if ur involve in it and ur reading this: YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAME OF YOURSELF.. straight up.
ok kids, again, dont forget to check onto my new blogging site. let me list down why im moving to another site…

1. visiting my blog on friendster is getting annoying with the iphone and "OH MY GOD" icon banner.
2. sometimes when the wifi get dc’d, i would refresh or hit the back button and all that i wrote earlier would just kaput - puff into thin binary codes..
3. its a new semester calling for a new home.
4. wordpress have password protected entries and thanks to baby who pointed that out. i think i had seen it on her blog or was that somewhere else or someone else’s.. fuck it. kamil is gay.
5. kamil is a terrorist and he should be in iraq or afghanistan, not nyc.
6. because im leaving back to school - leaving the city in the hands of my beloved one and that calls for a new spot for me to rave and rant about shit.
7. the day is just so nice and i hate it when i have to leave when the day is so nice (chetiber)
8. ok, im outta idea but im gonna keep on giving reasons why im moving to wordpress.
9. because im cool like that.. yes i am. do not deny that!!

so, i think you kids oughta participate a tad bit in this thing im about to do - to decide the name of my blog and i want it to be something GoBlog. just click and play mmmmkay. good bye friendster and hello wordpress…

ok, so theres so many things i wanna put in this entry today. the things that pretty much lingers inmy mind. i dont understand people who never pick a fight with a bouncer but beat up his sister. i dont understand people who pray 10 times a day and dress up like he’s hollier then thou but beat up a girl. i dont understand people who think he is so religious and hurt other person’s body and soul. call yourself a smart person but you dont act like one. not too smart bro… might hurt yourself. if ur reading this, better watch your back coz i might just come and fuck you up. i’ll give you a nasal fuck and cum in your ears. lmao..
so, i had this party on my rooftop today. pretty good. theres so many people showed up ad i got pretty wasted - not tipsy. i think twas because i was mixing my drinks - had rum punch (my secret recipe), vodka and OJ; and some beers. man, i feel like puking as imtyping this. the worst part is, im having the worst hicups ever. its ok tho, gonna crack open anothre beer soon. oi havent been drniking beer in a while. used to be a beer lover myself but i think subcontiously, im a lil but contious about my tummy. i hate it. gotta loose it before new years. that smy resolution. maybe not the cming byut a resolutiontaht i just picked up.

im leaving back to indiana PA soon. i hope that will chill down some people (or brother) a little. i have so many hopes but you know how i feel abiut hope. it usually just fujcks you up. battery us dying. cheerio!!

iI HATE PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT THEYRE BETTER THEN OTHRS,

so, im getting more and more broke by the day. i have few prospect student (yeah, im giving out guitar lessons) but theyre so lame and slow in replying my emails and they wouldnt call me. whatever.. im gonna rip them off anyways as in they gonna pay me money.
recently ive been going crazy for this new band - flights of the conchords. below is the video that i really like from them. theyre hill-a-rious and i think i might love them half as much as i love jack johnson. imagine that coz i cant see myself liking anybody half as much as i love jack but whatever..
ok, so i cant embed htmls here, therefore, u can click at this link to watch the video. and theres another one thing id love to share. its about this artist - my kinda artist that is so fucking talented and i think you guys should check him out.

so im at bryant park and the weather is so nice - almost as nice as nadia. there are so many people around and theyre all beautiful walking around in their suits, dresses, flip flops.. aaahhh… i dont wanna go back to indianaaaaaaaaa (but i miss doris tho :). i had a good lunch date with nadia and the food was good. it was soo good that it makes me hungry again just thinking about it. yes, i am hungry again. i decided that i dont wanna loose weight now - maybe later when im lonely and when theres nobody to love. im so busy loving everything around me (esp zee gf) that i think i can skip loving myself for a bit. i love the weather, i love the street, i love the sun, i love the people, the strangers that passes by… i love i love i love…
the word love used to be a taboo for me as i never heard my parents say it to me or even to each other but dont get me wrong - i never saw them fighting or even raised their voice to each other. we feel the love. i grew up where love is expressed by the things you do and better not say it if you dont mean it. i know its wierd but are we all - wierd. except for nadia. she’s pelik, according to one undisclosed fat - gay looser.
i went to goodwill and im so surprised of how many choices they have it there. compulsive as i normally am, i bought a cashmere jacket for merely $30 that i think cost at least $250 - 400 on the shelf. its awesome and that jacket made me feel like i want to see the winter again - knock on wood. hopefully not anytime soon. the weather is perfect. aaaahhhhhh…

im in nyc now and im soooooooo happy (and tired and groggy). right before i left malaysia, when i thought that all my friends were inconsiderate and lame, i got sweet messages and saw some people that i shouldve (wouldve couldve) appreciate more. its ok, we are just humans and i will remember those sweet things for a very long time and if i dont (as im tad bit dorry-ism), please dont feel shy to remind me of your good deeds coz i myself wouldnt wanna forget it…
im staying with dushant on his couch (in his room) here in astoria and its a pretty cool pad. i wish i couldve found a temp sublet by now but owh well, everybody sucks.. nothing new.
last night i was so happy to get a new phone (its a lame phone but im just gonna use it while im in nyc), to be in nyc and to see **d**, i decided to walk around downtown by myself. listening to ipod, mind my own business and looking at clothes and funky stuff that are sold everywhere in chinatown. suddenly (jeng jeng jenggg).. there were millions of police officers around downtown. they were searching random cars, people on the streets, trucks and everything. apparently, there were a nuclear bomb threat here in manhattan. seeing the paranoia and the madness downtown, i seriously dont sense any threat and let alone reason to be scared. anyhoo, it was a pretty funky sight to see. walked into McD to take a piss, i saw police officers searching through people’s bags and shit. it was scarry. they were intensively searching for the imaginary bomb withing 10 blocks by 3 avenues radius. it was crazy…
i fell in love with iphone. im gonna get them soon. really really really gotta have it. im not sure if cingular has coverage in indiana tho..
tonight, im gonna see a play with nadia. its called spring awakening. will put up the reviews nanti2…
ahaaa!! i just got into this new thing called yelp where you can read and write reviews… whatever. im gonna hop in the shower now and go to central park. its awesome outside.. cheerio!!

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ok, i was writing an entry and it was sooooo friggin long before i accidentally hit some buttons that cleared the fuckin page. fuck it, im not in the mood to repost the entry. fuck fuck fuuuuck…

anyhoo… these are the things i wanna do when i get back to the states..

1. do you-know-what to you-know-who
2. walk the brooklyn bridge
3. bbq at central park
4. visit the financial district
5. go to randal’s island
6. watch a broadway show
7. see pvd with the love of my life
8. take more pictures
9. play hockey-sack wherever
10. study

hows that for a list? its not final yet but randomly, thats whats on top of my head for now - after all my entry cleared tadi. i know im gonna miss zee family. hope god will be nicer to me this time. anyways, im gonna take this opportunity to thank god for everything that he had given to me and im sooo thankful that im blessed with so many things. im just a human and we complain all the time, esp malaysians. i hope that i will see the signs of how i can appreciate you more and how can i serve you better. god, if you’re reading this, please please please know that i respect, fear and love you as humanly as i can. im gonna sleep now and before that i have a date with my secret lover and do you-know-what and go to bed.

ps: i wish i could put a password on some of these entries.

word of the day: conniving
quote of the day: girls dont fart, tho we do have windy pops once in a while (ayue)

i went to a play at actor studio bangsar, thanks to ayue, we went to see the play menopause the musical and it was awesome. i think theyre from nyc since the scene was supposed to take place at bloomingdales on 59 and lex. i used to walk pass there a lot - on the way to tourism malaysia and i can trully understand most of the things theyre talking about - not the menopause part tho. when they came to the part where one of the lady complained that she didnt get enough sex, her friends suggested that she go to 8th avenue and get some you-know-what (a dildo i assume). it was hilarious and i trully enjoy it so much. thanks again ayue..
i am very very disturbed as i should be in manhattan right now and got into an accident and made my dad merajuk semalam and.. oh man.. its freakin hard to be me, seriously.. to people out there that wish they were me (nak perasan sekejap, its my blog after all kan).. a piece of advice for you peeps, it takes more than human to be me seriously..
last night i had the best conversation with nadia in a while and we were so entertained that we laughed our ass off. i think couldve woke my brother up or something. it was sooo good and i miss her loads. i shouldnt have left nyc. i knew it. i should be a lil bit more of a risk taker like i usually am. if i could turn back time, i would just stay in nyc and wait till the fall semester starts. lay low, dont get arrested and stay cool - what i do best..
i was talking to my friend in beijing and he asked me what do i do in malaysia. i told him besides having bad lucks like its my job, i ta fei kei and he didnt know what was it. so, i told him the meaning and he said, thats not chinese (or mandarin because chinese people who are from china think that chinese language is mandarin as for us malaysians, we have a lot of chinese languages - hokkien, hakka, mandarin, cantonese, etc) and explained that in chinese its da fei ji which literally means shoot the plane!! i tot it was so friggin funny and need to post it here for future refference. anyhoo, my soul is in new york and i wanna go and get my soul from nadia!!

dear god..
im not sure if you’re punishing or testing me but i wanna tell you that i am strong and i will go through this shit like a champ i am. i know that although u gave me tons of shit, theres so many more soul out there that are suffering waaayyyyy beyond my comprehension but who am i to question you. i have faith in you because i think faith is the most expensive thing that a man (or woman) can offer to an unseen force like yourself. i am not down with pagan rituals and i hope you are okay with that. its been a while since i made this open letter to you and i hope that what i am doing right now is right. i hope a lot of things and please please please dont le me down this time. please just take me to where i wanna be and please talk to me. i need some kind of reassurance that the predicaments that im facing right now is from you - be it a punishment or a test…

ahhhh… i cant wait to be back in nyc and i think i might have found a perfect place for me to stay on the upper east side area. it will be close to her and i would love that. whatever it is, itd be great if this shit works out.

am i strong enough? fuck yeah im strong and not just that, im stronger than strong. im harayz and i can do whatever the fuck i want and i can really make things happen if only i put in tad bit of effort in it. i know ive been taking shit for granted but i have my own philosophical and spiritual explanation for that and i hope you will understand or at least make me understand.

i feel horrible but knowing that she is waiting for me makes me smile. cheerio!!

so these are some of the pictures from the wedding. i had fun tho i dont like weddings. i felt jolly joy that weekend.

this is the picture of my siblings. from left is me (eldest), adibah (3rd), faiz (2nd) and hafizah (4th). i dont think we have enough pictures as siblings but this is definitely my favorite one. ive one hung on my wall in my room.. next to this cutie in saree.

so, i went up and did some jiggies with the performing group - some nasyid a-capella thingy and i forgot what theyre called now but whatever. i had a blast. my voice didnt come out right (got on the wrong note) and i dont give a shit. tho my voice was bad but i was the only one that went to the performers to dedicate a song to the newly wed couple.

for some reason i dont like this picture but i feel that i at least need to put the couple’s picture here. from left, thats me, the husband - from taiping, my cousin nelliza and her her friend that i forgot her name. shes very nice and i feel bad not knowing her name. anyways…

this is a picture of the couple and the uncle n aunties and the other

one is the picture of the couple and the cousins. the stage wasnt big enough for the whole family but it was a joyous and successful wedding id say.

this are my beloved beloved parents. i love them dearly but my dad wouldnt say i love you back at me. for the record, i never heard my dad said i love you to mommy but its ok. i think i can make up for him and say i love you more to mommy. theyre the coolest.. sometimes.

this is the picture of me and the bride. in a room. by ourselves. damn it. lol. she definitely look better without the makeups and shit. but yeah, shes a year older then me. wish her all the best and hope she’ll wait for me to get back from the states before having a baby. altho the husband isnt that good looking (whatever) im sure the baby will. lol. jk lol.

ps: the food was heavenly…

so, i saw this mother and son (i assume.. or maybe they’re in-laws) walking where the old mother was holding onto the son’s arm. i noticed that the son was walking fast and the mother had to catch up with him and she was limping. to say that i was disturbed by the scene is an overstatement but i’ll just go with that. also, i cant help it but without my consent, my brain starting to project the image of my mother. i love my mother and since i got back ive been saying "i love you" as regular as i can. "bye ibu, i love you", "ibu nak pegi dah? i love you", hello ibu i love you". i dont think i said enough to her. and as i have said in my early early blog entries, i do thought of death a lot. this life is just an appetizer to the real deal - desert. i love my mommy. ive so mch love in me i think im gonna explode. warghhhhh!!